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Make no mistake, it’s easy for just about any woman involved in a relationship or marriage to run out and have an unadulterated, insidious, and sordid affair with a man of her choosing, at her will.

Some men have made it their life goal in this day and age to be with a woman with whom he can get the greatest amount of sex possible with the least amount of emotional baggage. My NSA sex article surmises just that.

I (as well as some of my very good friends) have been propositioned by these types of men, in which I am simply left shocked by their brazenness and audacity to come at me full-fledge and with such brute force- as though I had my bits out in plain view covered in sugar ready to be pillaged.

They’ve offered numerous sexual meanderings on the “down low” in various forms, ranging from being email/phone/cyber sex buddies, to secret passionate “friendships”, to all out “c’mon let’s get busy like filthy animals once a week at your place”.

I don’t ask to be made into anyone’s common street whore. I’m married and they know it. Yet to certain men, the lure of a woman who’s off-limits is a very powerful aphrodisiac. I’ve found men often want what they can’t have and it is exciting as well as it is “heroically” taboo among them to bang some dude’s wife or girlfriend for sport.

And they don’t hesitate at the opportunity, not for a second. They don’t want anything from us but sex, as though we’ve somehow thrown ourselves down on the floor at their feet and were begging them for it.

Maybe sometimes we are yearning for it because we’re human and we sometimes have physical and emotional needs that aren’t always being met.

At any rate guys, despite what you and most people think of marriage, married people still get a lot of action. Probably a lot more than you do, so get over yourself.

A divorced friend of mine confided in me once that a man, with whom she began “relations” during her separation, had told her that he wanted her to wear her wedding ring for him during one of their trysts because it drove him nuts with horny fervor. Needless to say, I was simply stunned at the suggestion. The symbolization behind her wearing a wedding ring ignited in him a cuckold fetish that today, seems pretty common.

We, as devoted women, are often faced with the opportunity and the very real temptation to cheat, and cheating is as rampant among women as it is among men. However, the only real reason men and women do cheat is because there is something thoroughly lacking in the relationship- whether it’s not enough sex or not enough affection, there are very viable reasons why people cheat and it often has nothing to at all to do with being amoral pigs who can’t control themselves. Although that reason alone, for them, makes it reason enough.

Temptation is all around us. Whether it’s dying for a double chocolate fudge sundae with extra sprinkles on top when you’re on the cabbage soup diet, to the guy at work with whom you’re so attracted, you have to purposely ignore and avoid altogether just to be able to perform your work functions. These things seem to happen just when things are going well for us, when we’re totally focused on our relationships and ready to be the best women we can be to our men.

Temptation can cause us to lose all our sense, not to mention ourselves and our beaus, if we let it. There are ways we can overcome the pressure cooker of temptation and I have constructed a few ideas I’ve employed myself which have worked very well for me. It’s a system so that I can stay on track, and not succumb to the lasciviousness that seems to be lying around like everyone’s dirty drawls.

• Become more focused on your relationship and make it your top priority.

Be willing to throw yourself into your relationship 100% by spending more time concentrating on the needs of your partner and as well as your own. What is in the relationship that’s thrusting you towards the tilt? Is it lack of excitement and boredom? Is it too much time spent away or not enough time alone?

Talk to your partner about your needs and what you can do to fill in the gaps. Whatever you do, focus intently on making the emotional/spiritual growth of your relationship the breadth of your efforts. You can only do that by making sure you’re wholeheartedly putting your best foot forward and staying determined not to verge off your chosen path.

• Strengthen your relationship with affection and the fostering of more love and intimacy.

Men and women alike cheat because of alienation of affection. That is a term you often hear documented in divorce papers. The basic human condition requires nurturing through affection and love, and men and women tend to view affection a bit differently, although the needs surrounding it are one in the same.

Men view sex as an outlet of affection, while women see emotional bondage as such. However, both respond to physical gestures as a reassurance of love. Hold hands at the grocery store, cook fine meals together, have a weekly date night, and leave little love notes to each other strewn about the house. I know it sounds corny BUT IT WORKS. To this day, my husband still leaves me love notes and for all these years, every time he gives me one, I open myself up to him that much more because it’s very thoughtful. It’s romantic and sweet and it shows affection because it shows that he cares.

These simple things amount to a lot. Don’t underestimate the affection factor in your relationship. You can almost never give too much.

• Resolve to remove yourself completely from the source of the temptation.

You must heavily weigh the consequences of your actions if you decide to act on your indiscretion. When you do, you’ll realize that your relationship/marriage is much more important than agreeing to some sleazy sideshow spectacle that is sure to ruin someone’s life, if not the lives of everyone involved.

If it’s the guy you work with, find another job. If it’s the clerk down the street at the deli, stop going there. If it’s a “platonic” friend with whom you have networking connections, cut him off. And for Pete’s sake, don’t go with your single friends to the singles’ joints- primarily nightclubs and bars. In my own experience, these places are not only CRAWLING with men who seek NSA sex, they presume married women who go there are seeking NSA sex.

Don’t give yourself a lick of opportunity to have an affair. Avoid these situations with due diligence and put the thought of it out of your mind completely. Out of sight, out of mind.

Temptation can be beat and when we learn how to control it, we become more disciplined in our actions, ourselves and our relationships as their bonds become tighter and stronger. Remove yourself from the situation by not removing yourself from your relationship. When we’re in it for our men 100%, any other man or reason to cheat becomes obsolete.